


Closer

by ashandkriegs



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashandkriegs/pseuds/ashandkriegs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2006. Ali Krieger has just transferred to UNC and is trying to make a name for herself on the Tar Heels women's soccer team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, this shall be my attempt at a Krashlyn fic, the title is inspired by Tegan & Sara’s song. It might not make sense yet, but I promise, it will in time. Please let me know if there’s something there or not and if you’d like me to continue with this - I live for feedback. Please be aware that I also took some liberties with the timeframes during which players were at UNC or somewhere else and that I still literally have no clue about how college athletics really work. ;) Also, English is not my first language, so if something sounds weird, just hit me up and I'll try and do better.

Ali was nervous, to say the least. She had just transferred to UNC, trying to get away from Pennsylvania, from her ex-boyfriend, from everything that reminded her of her old life. She needed a fresh start, and the college that had been Mia Hamm's home for 5 years seemed like the perfect place for it.

So now, she was standing in front of 30 girls and 3 coaches, all huddling around her - it was a tradition at UNC - new girls always had to tell the group a little bit about themselves at the end of their first day.

The goalkeeper, Ashlyn, spoke first. "So, tell us about yourself, we're all curious here." The tall blonde said with a crooked smile on her face.

"I... uhh..." she started, completely overwhelmed by so many people listening and clearing her throat to gain some time. "I'm Ali, well, really it's Alexandra, but everyone calls me Ali..." She knew she was rambling, as she always did when she was nervous.

The girls, in full support-group mode, mumbled a monotone, "Hi Ali!"

"I just transferred here from Penn State, where I played as a right back for the past two years and I... um, I'm 22, and I'm majoring in advertising and public relations."

Thinking she'd gotten all the important details, she turned to vanish back into the anonymity of the group, but was stopped by a girl who was, even compared to Ali's 5'6", really short.

"Sooo... you're gonna come back here? Did you enjoy it today?"

"Yeah, I guess. You guys were really nice today." Ali mumbled.

"What's that? Can't hear ya, mumbles." The goalkeeper, whose name was Ashlyn, shouted out from the third row, clearly amused at the fact that a PR major was so horrible at public speaking.

Ali blushed. She hadn't even gotten to know everybody's names yet and they were already tossing nicknames at her. "It was really great to be here, and you guys seem to be very nice." She spoke, louder this time. "And I can't wait to get to know you all better."

The girls applauded and cheered for a bit, before the coaches made some short remarks about the practice. They broke their huddle and everyone went their way, with Ali watching them closely. She had always been an observer, always studying groups before trying to be a part of them. There seemed to be a clear hierarchy on the team. There was a brunette, about her height, a senior, as she had picked up from the other girls' conversations, who was clearly the leader of the pack. Still, nobody seemed to know her name - they just kept calling her, "Hey, yo!" Then there was the goalkeeper. Even though she was a freshman, she had everybody following her - on and off the pitch. The girls seemed to enjoy her rather crude sense of humor and the double entendres that she dropped every other minute. She didn't seem too bright, but she was an excellent goalie, as far as Ali could judge and everything else didn't matter. She could make friends outside the team, she certainly didn't need Ashlyn Harris and her inner circle of jockettes.


	2. These boots are made for walkin'

The first game was nearing quickly - _"Only two more weeks",_ Ali thought while jogging off the pitch after practice. She was excited. Her new life was going well, and she was finally going to be impressing everyone, including herself, by proving she was good enough to start for a great team, without everyone wondering if she only got the opportunity by having a relationship with the athletics coach. She'd trained like a madwoman, attending every extra practice that was held and putting in extra hours at the gym.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by her feet getting tangled up with the turf. "Oh shit", she exclaimed, looking down at the broken mess of a shoe she was wearing, the sole having separated from the upper part.

The short girl, Meghan, walked over to her. "Yeah, so... welcome to UNC, the turf has officially ruined a pair of your cleats."

Ali sighed. "I got the feeling the turf here was special. Where am I gonna get new cleats now? I mean, I don't know my way around here yet."

Meghan thought for a quick second. "You should ask Ash, she's kinda into that whole equipment stuff. Shop with her and you'll feel like soccer Cinderella, finding a perfectly fitting cleat. Trust me."

_Ashlyn? Disgusting-joke-making Ashlyn? Jock Ashlyn?_

"Maybe I'll call her later. Thanks for the suggestion, Meghan, I appreciate it." She smiled and hurried off into the shower.

An hour later, Ali was sitting in her dorm room, trying to figure out whether or not to ask Ashlyn. She was nice enough, sure, but she was also cocky and arrogant and had the sense of humor 15-year-old boys would find funny. Not to mention the fact that she was apparently somewhat of a ladykiller and never seemed to miss a party or any other chance to meet girls.

_"Oh dammit, I need those cleats, maybe she really does know something about that."_ She thought and dialed Ashlyn's number on her phone.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Ashlyn, it's Ali..."

"Oh, Ali." She seemed surprised. No wonder, they hadn't exactly interacted much on a personal level. The longest conversation they'd had had been one about trying to draw opponents offside.

"My cleats kinda died on me today and I hear you're like the cleat whisperer around here."

Ashlyn chuckled. "Cleat whisperer? I don't know about that... But I guess, while other girls worry about whether to wear one-inch, two-inch, or three-inch heels, I consider indoor, turf, firm ground or hard ground."

_"Oh God, enough with the jock lingo."_ Ali thought to herself. "Well, would you  maybe come shopping with me?" She asked, absolutely sure that popular Ash Harris would surely not want to spend any time with her and away from her gang and/or possible hookups.

"Yeah, sure, I'll go shopping with you." Ashlyn agreed, without a second's hesitation. "Meet me outside the mall tomorrow, around 6:30?"

Ali was surprised, but happy to know she wouldn't have to borrow any cleats for the next practice. "Uh, yeah, sure, that sounds great."

 

She stormed out of class early the next day, still furious at some rather sexist remarks her professor had made.

Not having anybody else to talk to, she texted Ashlyn.

_You got time for a beer after shopping? I could use one._

_Sure. I know a place... I'll be there in 10, btw._

With Ali's clear preference for Nike and Ashlyn's knowledge of the turf at UNC, they were done shopping in less than an hour, leaving Ali with 4 brand new pairs of cleats.

"So, that beer place you were talking about..." Ali started.

"Yeah, it's right around the corner, we can walk there."

They sat down and ordered their beers while Ashlyn kept checking her phone.

"Got a date tonight?" Ali teased.

Ashlyn looked up at her. "Uhm, no. I'm just checking for the Champions League results."

"You're into European soccer?"

"Yeah, kinda. I mean, it's not like there are many great goalkeeper role models in U.S. soccer."

Ali nodded, surprised that Ashlyn would be interested in anything happening outside of her own little cozy world as a star athlete. "Yeah, you're right... I mean, there's not even a professional league here for us. Obviously, there's rumors about a new league starting up next year, but who knows if that's gonna happen..."

Their beers arrived and they kept on drinking and talking about every possible subject - how they both thought Cristiano Ronaldo was an arrogant ass, how they thought their own season would play out, politics, their studies, how Ashlyn had learned so much about soccer equipment and finally, about their own likes and dislikes. They were both taken slightly aback by how easy the conversation seemed to flow.

"So, you're more of a beer drinker or wine drinker?" Ali asked.

"Whiskey, actually, but if you make me choose between beer and wine, clearly it's gonna be beer." she said, lifting her glass as proof.

Fuelled by the alcohol, Ali went for a more personal question. "Oh, so that's what gives you the courage to hit up the ladies like you do?"

Ashlyn almost choked on her beer, but recovered rather quickly. "Uhh, I don't really need any kind of alcohol for that... and it's not as if you're any better, I mean, everywhere you go, guys are basically tripping each other to get a chance to talk to you."

Ali smiled. It was true, getting male attention had never been an issue for her. They had been out partying with the team a couple of times and each time, she'd had to give several guys a chance to at least dance with her before they'd taken "no" for an answer.

"I guess we're similar in that way. Cute girl comes up to you, you take the chance. Cute guy comes up to me, I do the same."

Ashlyn furrowed her brow. "And what exactly constitutes a 'cute guy' in your book? I'm not exactly an expert at that."

"Well, around 6'2", dark hair, blue eyes, some stubble. In shape, but not too muscular." Realizing she had just described both of her exes, she knocked down the rest of her beer and ordered another one.

Ashlyn didn't know why, but she felt a pang of jealousy. Not sure how to answer, she decided to check her phone again.

"So, what's your type, ladykiller?" Ali asked, grinning and biting her lower lip.

The blonde opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. She took another breath and just said, "Nah, I can't tell you that." She noticed Ali's confused look and quickly added, "Magicians never reveal their illusions either."

Ali just laughed and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

The goalkeeper and the defender, though separated by several yards, both had the same thought crossing their - slightly drunk - minds. _"Why is it so easy to talk to her? And why the hell am I flirting?"_ They had both noticed how they'd started to lean into each other, both getting more touchy with each second that passed. They both decided they were just enjoying each other's company and a little harmless flirting had never hurt anybody. Ashlyn would never go after a straight girl and Ali was sure that she, being as straight as she was, could never fall for the Harris charm.

When she returned to their table, Ashlyn suggested hitting up the McDonald's next to the bar to take the edge off their "one" beer, which had actually turned out to be four for each of them.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you." Ali said a couple of minutes later while grabbing some fries. "Why do you always say 'Hey, yo!' to Heather?"

Ashlyn just stared at her blankly for a second before bursting out in laughter. "Oh God, this is gold!" she screamed while trying to stop laughing. "It's not 'Hey, yo', it's HAO. H-A-O. Heather Ann O'Reilly."

Ali blushed and buried her face in her hands. "Oh God..." she mumbled. "You're gonna tell everyone, aren't you."

The keeper just nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, you're never gonna live that down, Kriegs."

They went to the bus stop and said their goodbyes, seeing as how Ali lived on campus and Ashlyn lived in an apartment not too far away, but they were going in different directions.

Ali's bus had just left when her phone buzzed. She looked at the screen.

_Ashlyn Harris: So much for that one beer, huh?_

She smiled and texted back. _Yeah, bad alcohol. ;)_

_Ashlyn Harris: Waaaay bad._

Her fingers hit the keys like lightning. _Don't you mean 'waaaay good'?_ She sent the message and instantly wondered what she was doing. Her train of thought was interrupted by yet another message.

_Ashlyn Harris: I think I still owe you an answer._

Knowing exactly what Ashlyn was talking about, she texted back.

_Oh yes!! Spill, Harris._

_Ashlyn Harris: Seriously?_

_Sure. Or you can tell me the next time we decide to have *a* beer. ;)_

Ali had to wait a minute before the next message arrived.

_Ashlyn Harris: Well, umm..._

Another minute passed, with Ali's eyes glued to her phone's screen as she got off the bus and walked the couple hundred yards to her front door. Another buzz.

_Ashlyn Harris: Smart, funny... Long dark hair, brown eyes._

Ali felt something weird in the pit of her stomach and wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, butterflies or uneasiness. She had always been able to hold her drink and she was straight, so she went with the uneasiness. Was Ashlyn full-on hitting _on her_ now?

Buzz.

_Ashlyn Harris: Had the same convo with Whit a couple of days ago, she just rolled her eyes. Said Denise wasn't any of that._

Ali was relieved.  Ashlyn had told her about falling for one of her best friends' girlfriend, and had actually shown her a picture. Blonde, blue-eyed, and more of a tomboy than any of Ashlyn's usual conquests.

_Ashlyn Harris: Thankfully, I'm over that now. Back on track._

She texted Ashlyn the thumbs-up emoji, paused for a second, and then wrote her last message for the night.

_Good night. And sleep well. ;) Talk to you tomorrow._


	3. Fireworks

A little over a week had passed since their little shopping tour and Ashlyn and Ali found themselves spending more and more time together. In fact, out of the past 9 days, there had been only one in which they hadn't seen each other. They'd barbecued, had come in for extra trainings, watched movies together, had dinner with Whit and even spent hours talking at the bus stop after their last practice - purely by accident. They'd started talking and Ashlyn had waved off the first bus, then the next, the one after that and so on, before she'd finally decided to go home after 2 hours of talking, just before the clock struck midnight.

Without any trainings left before the game, they decided to keep themselves busy in other ways. Ali had invited Ashlyn for drinks with her best friend from home who was coming in to watch the game and the goalkeeper had gladly agreed. Not just because she was eager for any kind of distraction, but also because she was curious about who Ali's best friend was and what she was like.

So they met up and Ashlyn was introduced to Hanna, whom Ali knew from back when she was still at Penn State.

The two soccer players just watched sadly as Hanna ordered a Cuba Libre, while they themselves were abstaining from alcohol for obvious reasons and sighed as they ordered their Virgin Mojitos.

As the evening progressed, Ashlyn found herself wondering how Hanna and Ali had become friends. Sure, they'd told her the story about how they were both just looking for friends and had both posted slightly desperate messages online about it. How they'd messaged back and forth for a night before realizing they might just have found what they'd been looking for. How they'd bonded over their shared passion for shopping.

Still, they were an odd pair - Ali was breathtakingly hot while Hanna was more of your average girl next door. Ali was well-spoken, while it took Hanna always several minutes to string a decent sentence together. Ali was down-to-earth, grounded, while Hanna seemed to be slightly snobby. It wasn't that Ashlyn didn't like her, she was just wondering how a friendship with such different personalities could ever work for so long.

"Yo, Earth to Harris!" Ali said, waving her hands in front of the blonde's face. "Are you still with us?"

Not realizing she had been quiet for so long, Ashlyn snapped out of it and shook her head slightly as if to shift focus back to the two friends.

"What were you talking about?" she said, trying to reconnect with the conversation.

"I was just telling Hanna about this firework tonight that I read about - they set it to music, it's supposed to be pretty amazing. But sheeeee..." Ali pointed at Hanna, "Doesn't wanna go with me, because it's so cold here and she only brought her sexy jacket instead of the warm one." She'd said the last part in a voice imitating Hanna's, which earned her a light slap on the back of her head from her best friend.

"I'll go with you." Ashlyn immediately volunteered. "I love fireworks."

 _"What the hell is wrong with you?"_ she immediately thought to herself. _"Fireworks are a couple-y thing to do, you can't do that with a straight girl!"_

Much to her surprise, Ali squealed with joy. "Me too! Let's do it! Hanna, you sure you don't wanna come?"

Hanna nodded. "Yeah, I'll head back to the hotel. See you tomorrow morning at the mall?"

Ali high-fived her and winked at her. "You bet!"

30 minutes later, they were standing outside the stadium, trying to find a good place to watch the fireworks from. They battled their way through snuggling couples and tried desperately not to step in any of the puddles from the rain that had been pouring down all day. The sky had almost completely cleared up, though, so the conditions for the firework were perfect.

As it began, Ashlyn looked over at Ali, who was balancing on a small part of dry floor between two huge puddles and smiled. _"How can she be so cute? She's not even looking at you. She's not saying anything interesting. What the hell is it with this girl?"_

She decided to focus on the flickering lights and the colorful explosions above her. Of course, just as she did that, one of them turned out to form a red heart, which sent all the couples around them into affection overdrive. She and Ali looked at each other and started laughing out loud about all the sappy idiots around them.

The air around them was becoming chilly, so Ali stepped slightly closer to the tall goalkeeper, just enough so that their shoulders were touching. Just as Ashlyn felt something like lightning shoot through her body, she heard the defender yell, "OH CRAP, NO!"

She spun around and followed Ali's eyes to the ground and bit back a grin. She was standing smack-dab in the middle of one of the puddles she'd been trying to avoid the entire time. The firework was almost over anyway, so Ashlyn suggested leaving  before everybody else did.

They were sitting beside each other at the bus stop, both looking at the screen and realizing they had about 8 minutes before either of their buses arrived. Instead of talking, which had become one of their favorite activities, they just sat as close together as possible and listened to the grand finale of the firework.

Ashlyn turned to Ali, just looking at her, taking her in, not knowing what to do or say. Ali looked straight back at her with the same intensity in her eyes and shrugged subtly, almost imperciptibly.

Just as the Ashlyn was trying to figure out what the shrug meant, Ali's bus arrived and they said their goodbyes for the night, just like they always did. But Ashlyn knew that nothing was the same.

A short while later, she bolted through the door of her apartment and yelled out for her roommate. "TOBS! TOOOOBS!"

She found her sitting in their living room. Tobin looked up from the book she was reading and yelled back, right into her face: "ASH! AAAAAASH!"

"This isn't funny, Tobin. I need to talk to you. And I need a drink, but I can't have that, so I need to talk to you."

Tobin set the book aside, suddenly concerned for her friend. Ash didn't ramble. Ash didn't freak out. Ash didn't _need to talk_.

"Okay, I'm all ears."

"I think... shit, I don't even know how to do this... I think, well, I kinda..." Ash stammered, running her hands through her hair.

"Ash, seriously, take a breath."

"Okay, so... You know how I've been spending a lot of time with Ali."

Tobin wasn't sure where this was going. "Yeah."

"Well, I... I think I like her, Tobs. A lot."

The midfielder didn't know how to respond. The Ashlyn Harris she knew didn't have feelings like that, she didn't fall for any girls, girls fell for her. "And how'd you figure that out?"

"We were at the firework tonight." She watched Tobin shake her head, slightly amused. "Do you mind? So, like I said, firework. And then she just... stepped closer to me. It was like... something hit me. Just... and I know this sounds ridiculous, but... it was like a spark. And then we were sitting at the bus stop, just kinda staring at each other, and she shrugged and then her bus came and I... what does it mean, Tobs?"

Tobin took a deep breath, tilted her head slightly and said, "It means that you're in love with Ali."

"No, no, I don't fall for straight girls. Hell, I don't even fall for gay girls." Ash objected.

"Say what you will, but you got it bad for this girl, Ash. You can't even say her name or tell me a story about her without smiling."

Ash let her head drop for a second, before looking up at her roommate and saying, "What about the shrug? What does that mean? Was that an 'I don't know what you want?' shrug? A 'Not my fault if you have feelings for me' shrug?"

"There's only one person who could shed some light on this." Tobin pointed out as she got up from the couch.

"Ali." Ash whispered and without even noticing it, smiled softly.


	4. Gameday

Gameday. Ali's first for the UNC Tar Heels. Or so she had thought. She wasn't in the starting 11, but as a newcomer, she didn't think much of it. When she hadn't been subbed in at halftime, her stomach had started tying itself into a knot. When she had seen the first sub and the second happen, the bad feeling had started creeping up her throat. And when the coach had subbed in another freshman, the game was officially over for her. She felt like she was going to be sick. Sure, yes, it had been close, with the Tar Heels scoring in the third minute of the game and afterwards it being  all Stanford's game, with Ashlyn having to save the day several times. But still, Ali had thought that all the practices she'd attended, all the extra hours she'd spent working out, would somehow pay off.

Ali stormed off into the shower before anybody could get a chance to talk to her. As the hot water hit her body, her thoughts started flying. Was she really not good enough to play in the starting 11? Had she only gotten there at Penn State because of her relationship with Tom? And how the hell was she supposed to get through the team's post-game dinner? _"Alcohol."_ she thought.

30 minutes later, she was sitting at the restaurant with a beer in front of her, the other players slowly trickling in and offering her a sympathetic look or hug. She didn't want any of it. She only wanted to see one person, and that was Ashlyn, who was still nowhere to be seen.

Ali took out her phone and texted her. _Where are you?_

_Ashlyn Harris: ATM. Need some cash._

Ali sighed and emptied her beer before quickly ordering another one. Yes, she may be a Division I athlete, but tonight, she was a human being. A human being that felt like shit. The waitress set beer #3 down in front of her just as Ashlyn walked through the door. Ali immediately felt better and patted the seat next to her for Ashlyn to sit down.

While she spent the first couple of minutes celebrating with her teammates, it didn't take long for the goalkeeper to notice that something was off.

"What's wrong?" she asked, turning her body towards Ali.

Ali fought back tears. "I... I didn't play."

Ashlyn understood where she was coming from. After an ACL tear, she knew too well how it felt to fight for something and not get it. She put her hand on Ali's knee and squeezed it gently.

"I know."

Ali quickly stood up, excused herself and ran outside, unnoticed by her celebrating teammates, but with Ashlyn following her.

Ali stood outside the restaurant in the breezy air, finally letting the tears flow down her face freely. She felt someone nudging her and turned around to see Ashlyn, who kept nudging her into a more quiet corner, behind a parked van.

Ali looked at Ashlyn with a confused look on her face, which dissolved the second Ashlyn wrapped her arms around her and whispered into her ear, "Thought you didn't wanna cry where everyone could see you."

It was such a simple gesture, but one that showed Ali how well Ashlyn understood. She'd never cried in front of anybody her entire adult life, besides her family of course. She held on to the goalkeeper's shoulders and noticed how they were much broader than she'd thought. Compared to a soccer goal, Ashlyn looked tiny, but standing in front of her now, she was a rock. Her rock. Ali just sobbed into Ashlyn's UNC sweater.

"I... thought I was... I worked so hard and..."

"I know. It's not fair. You should've played, hell you should've been in the starting 11. Our back 4 would've been better with you."

Ali looked up at her. "You think so?" The goalkeeper just nodded.

"I just wanna go home and drink some more." Ali added, turning to leave.

"Well, I'm not gonna let you do this on your own. So, I can either go in there and tell Coach that he made a wrong decision today, a decision that hurt one of his best players..."

Ali shook her head angrily. "No. No way I'm gonna be known as the one who cries because she didn't get any minutes."

Ashlyn took a deep breath. "...or I'll come with you to, you know, supervise your drinking. Maybe participate."

The brunette shook her head. "No, you had a great game, you should be celebrating with the girls."

"Nah, I can celebrate next time. Tonight, my friend needs me, that's more important."

Ali was surprised at Ashlyn's offer, but gladly took it. They paid and left without anybody really noticing. Ash had waved a quick goodbye to Tobin, who'd shot her a look somewhere between genuine concern and "What're you up to?"

When they entered Ali's room, Ashlyn was surprised. It looked like the room of someone much older than Ali - it was well-decorated and not as girly as Ashlyn would've thought based on Ali's personality.

Ali tossed her bag into the corner and kicked against it a couple of times before Ashlyn gently guided her away and sat her down on the couch.

"Beer's inne fridge!" Ali said, slurring the words together, not seeing that Ashlyn had already found them and brought them over to where Ali was sitting.

"IT SUCKS!" The defender yelled all of a sudden. "It meant so much to me! To prove to everybody that I've made it. On my own." Tears were flowing down her face again and Ashlyn could no longer stand it. She took Ali's beer from her hands, set it down on the table and then pulled her into a tight hug. "I know, Alex. I know." Ali was surprised how Ashlyn had called her "Alex", which usually was what family and close friends called her, but she was too tired to comment on it.

They stayed there like this for what seemed like eternity, before Ali sat up, wiped her face and said, "I've got a bad headache, I should probably just go to bed."

"Oh. Yeah, it's been a rough day." Ashlyn straightened out her clothes and went over to her bag, getting ready to leave.

"Will you stay with me?" Ali mumbled softly. "I don't wanna be alone tonight."

Ashlyn's eyes widened at the idea, but she nodded and hoped it wasn't too obvious how much she wanted to do just that. "Do you have a blanket maybe? I mean, yeah, there's lots of pillows on your couch, but..." She was rambling, she knew it, but the notion of spending a night at Ali's place made her nervous, even after three beers. Ali shook her head, shakily walked over to where Ashlyn was standing, took her hand and practically dragged her towards her bed.

"You'll sleep here. I need to snuggle when I feel like crap." she just stated before she went to brush her teeth and changed into her PJs, with Ashlyn following her around like a lost puppy.

The blonde stood there, watching as Ali threw herself onto her bed and turned to look at her. "You need clothes to sleep in?"

Ashlyn peeled her eyes off the brunette's body and said, "Uhh, no... I'm good. I can sleep in this." She motioned to her UNC-issued shorts and t-shirt.

"Whatever you say, ladykiller." Ali laughed. "Now lie down, I'm turning off the lights."

Still hesitant, Ashlyn lay down beside Ali and immediately felt her snuggle into her side and decided that wrapping an arm around her couldn't hurt. She fell asleep telling herself that Ali was her friend, she needed her and if they were this drunk and nothing happened, then nothing would ever happen. 


	5. Get the party started

They'd seen each other every day for practice since the game. Ashlyn had even spent another night over after she'd forgotten her keys on Ali's coffee table, which she hadn't noticed until after she'd gone back to her place. After an hour-long bus ride and walk back to Ali's place, she had been way too tired to take the trip home again, so Ali had offered the right side of her bed to her, an offer Ashlyn could hardly have refused. Again, they'd slept snuggled up next to each other, woken up together and Ashlyn had even texted Ali when she'd noticed her t-shirt smelled like Ali's apartment the next day.

Rumors about them had started bubbling up, within the team and in some of the classes they took, but they didn't care, knowing they were just really good friends.

Now they were both texting each other, getting ready for Meghan's birthday party, Ali constantly sending pictures of whatever outfit she was trying on now. Ashlyn had already decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a white Lacoste polo shirt. She looked at her phone.

_Ali Krieger: Last one. What do you think?_

Ashlyn nearly fell over backwards. Ali had let her hair down, wearing black jeans and a light blue... Ralph Lauren polo. She looked gorgeous.

She smiled and texted back. _This is my favorite! Even though... You know, we're kinda going twinsies with our outfits now. Not sure what people are gonna say._

_Ali Krieger: I don't care. My shirt's light blue, yours is white, so I think we're good to go._

They met up an hour later and took the bus to Meghan's place together, just talking about the team, their friends and comparing the gifts they'd gotten for Meghan.

When they arrived side by side, they could immediately feel several pairs of eyes on them, watching them. Slightly uncomfortable, they went for the "bar" that had been set up in the basement. Ashlyn noticed the foosball table and the beer pong cups and made a mental note to herself about doing both later tonight. For now, she grabbed a beer and spent her time talking to Meghan and some of the other girls, while Ali had attached herself to a group of people from her psychology classes.

It wasn't long before Kling was drunk enough to yell, "FOOOOOOOSBAAAAALL! C'mon, who's ready to take on HAO and me?"

Ash set her beer down and said, "I'll do it! Kriegs, you with me?" She'd used her soccer nickname on purpose, not wanting to fuel the rumors anymore. Sure, they'd both said they weren't bothered by everybody talking about them, but words like that rarely held up against the reality of being surrounded by people staring and whispering.

Ali emptied her bottle and yelled, "HELLS YEAH! We're gonna show 'em who's boss!"

Ashlyn chuckled at tipsy Ali. She figured Princess Ali had about the same skills at foosball that she herself had at ballet. "Easy there, HAO and Kling have been doing this for a while. Even won the Tar Heels' inaugural foosball tournament in February." HAO and Meghan high-fived at the memory of their huge victory over Whit and Ashlyn.

First ball, two seconds in, Ali scored, leaving everybody gathered around the foosball table with their mouths gaping open.

HAO sneered at Meghan. "Great, princess can play foosball. You told me this was gonna be easy."

Ali laughed. She loved showing this side of her now and then - the side that could whip everyone's butt at foosball and drink everybody under the table. Second ball, Ashlyn's goalkeeper reflexes blocked a shot from HAO's forward and sent the ball flying all the way to Ali's forward who had no trouble scoring against Kling's (very drunk) foosball goalkeeper. 2-0.

After that, it was almost exclusively Ashlyn scoring with the back line and every time she scored, she either did a little cocky dance or acted like an NFL player who'd just scored the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. Ali couldn't take her eyes off the blonde, her cockiness and macho act turning Ali on.

They were playing the last ball of the round, when one of the girls from Ali's study group commented on their outfits. "Haha, look at those two! They're not only a great foosball team, they even got matching Lacoste polos!" Ali blushed and the girls from the team quickly picked up on it, never once skipping an opportunity to make fun of their teammates.

Meghan, clearly drunk by now, "Yeah, Kriegs... Ash... What's going on there? You got a little something going on?"

While Ali froze up, Ashlyn played it cool and went with sarcasm instead. "Yeah, for sure, Kling. We're having a _secret_ affair, so we decided to go with matching outfits for everyone to see."

HAO opened her mouth to say something, but Ashlyn quickly laughed it off. "Jesus, people, grow up."

The rest of the evening was uneventful, until Ashlyn came back from the bathroom and overheard some girls saying that she had only gotten the starting job because she got along so well with the coach. She froze in her steps, listening to what else they were saying. She was standing on the landing of the staircase, just half a floor above them, but they couldn't see her.

"And COME ON, it's so obvious that Ali and Ash are doing it." Giggles.

Just then, Ali opened the door and wanted to walk past them, when one of the girls teased, "Looking for Ash?"

Ashlyn wasn't prepared for what she heard next, Ali fuming and yelling at the girls at the top of her lungs. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, NOTHING MORE! CAN'T A GAY GIRL AND A STRAIGHT GIRL HANG OUT AND JUST ENJOY A FRIENDSHIP WITHOUT EVERYBODY ACTING LIKE WE'RE THE NEW BRANGELINA? GET A FUCKING LIFE!"

She heard Ali storming off in her direction, so she quickly hid in one of the hallways. Wow. That had been open and honest. Too honest for Ashlyn's taste. She didn't know why she felt like she'd just gotten kicked and slapped all at the same time.

_So, it's a friendship. Nothing more. We're just friends to her. She's straight and nothing will ever happen. And so much for "I don't care what people are gonna say"._

She didn't quite understand why she was feeling so down, she'd known all of that from the start, but apparently, there had still been a glimmer of hope left. Until now. Ali had made everything clear.

She went downstairs and said her goodbyes, mumbling something about having an early class in the morning and not feeling well.

She walked a couple of yards in the pouring rain, to make sure no one saw her, before sitting on a rock by the side of the road and burying her face in her hands, trying to calm down her spinning mind.

15 minutes later, she saw Ali come out of Meghan's house - arm in arm with a guy who was holding an umbrella over them. As they got closer, Ashlyn recognized him as Meghan's roommate's brother Mark,  who was very attractive and who had spent all night trying to get closer to Ali.

"Oh, hey, Ashlyn. I thought you were gone already." Ali said as she noticed the goalkeeper.

"Yeah, I'm not." Ashlyn said, her voice cold. "You going to the bus stop?"

"Yeah, do you wanna come with us? Maybe underneath the umbrella?"

Ashlyn shook her head. "Nah, I'm already wet. Besides, I don't wanna get in the way of anything." For the entire 20-minute walk to the bus stop, Ashlyn kept at least ten yards distance to the talking, flirting couple in front of her, her gut wrenching at the thought of this guy having an actual chance with Ali, just because he was a guy.

When they finally got to the bus stop, Mark offered to wait with them, but Ashlyn stepped in and told him off with a quick, "I think we're good here, thanks pal", before sitting down on the bench and burying her face in her hands again. Ali, as tipsy as she still was, still had picked up Ashlyn's feelings toward Mark.

"Ashlyn... hey, Ash." she said quietly, trying to get her to look up. When she didn't succeed, she put her hand on the back of Ashlyn's neck, gently stroking her hair.

Ashlyn's head immediately jerked up. "What?"

Ali sighed. "I thought you'd left already and I didn't wanna walk around this neighborhood on my own at night. And Mark offered to keep me company."

"Sure he did." Ashlyn scoffed. "Bet he'd keep you company in your bed, too."

Ali took a deep breath and decided not to get into a fight with Ashlyn about this. "I have you for that, don't I?" She joked, hoping Ashlyn wouldn't take it wrong.

The blonde smiled softly, the dimple in her cheek showing for a brief second before her expression got serious again.

"You know what they said today? The girls from my marketing class?" Ali shook her head. "I overheard them talking about the team and how I only got the starting goalkeeper job because I get along so well with Coach Ducar... "

"WHAT?" Ali spat out. "Ash, you can't seriously think that's true, right? I mean, you're the best goalkeeper on this team, everybody knows it."

"Well, apparently, not everybody." Ashlyn replied, her shoulders slumped, her entire body language showing defeat.

Ali put her hand back on Ashlyn's neck, which, unbeknownst to her, was the secret backdoor to Ashlyn's emotions. Whenever someone did that, Ashlyn immediately felt herself relax, becoming more open and suddenly feeling secure enough to talk about her feelings.

"Ash, these girls... They're not on the team. They don't know how hard you work, how many hours you put in... But _we_ all know. Meghan, Tobin, HAO, Whit... And I'm sure everyone of us would, without a moment's hesitation, say that the reason you get along so well with Coach Ducar is because you work your butt off for the sake of this team."

"You think so?" Ashlyn asked looking up, her face relaxing.

"Yep, 100% sure. Now, come on, let's just both go home and try to forget this stupid night ever happened." Ali said as the bus arrived.

"Except for you kicking Kling's and HAOs asses all over the foosball table. I'll never be able to forget that." Ashlyn shook her head, still amazed by how a princess-type girl like Ali could have such sick skills at a classic bro activity.

Ali laughed. "Yeah, except for that."


	6. Long way home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, but here's a slightly longer chapter to make up for it. ;) Thank you all for reading and your kind comments, I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so far. And I promise, I'm not gonna torture you for much longer... Well, maybe a little while longer. ;)

It was a special game day for Ali. She would be returning to Penn State today. Her parents would be there. Tom would be there. Her parents would most likely try to get her and Tom back together, exploiting the fact that they knew they had officially decided to stay friends. And then, there was Ashlyn whom she couldn't push out of her mind. They'd spent so much time together that the lines were starting to get blurry. They'd started snuggling during their movie nights, but then again, many of the girls did that, right?

_Flashback_

_She had met up with her friend Gabriel the week before and, in catching up with him, had said "Ashlyn" so many times that Gabe had gotten curious._

_"You really spend a lot of time with this girl, don't you?"_

_"Yeah, we just... get along so well, it's amazing. You should really meet her some time, Gabe, I bet you two would get along so well."_

_Gabe couldn't help but smile. "Are you in love with her, Ali?"_

_Ali choked on her water. "Wh-what? What makes you say that? You know I'm straight!"_

_"I know, and I'm as gay as the day is long, but still... you fall in love with a person, not their gender. Especially you, being so picky about your partners." Ali wanted to say something, but nothing came out of her mouth, so Gabe continued. "Look, maybe there's something there, maybe there isn't and you're really just amazing friends. But whatever it is, she seems to help you in some way. You're smiling more, you're laughing more, you're being more open, you just seem so... at peace. And you know I just want what's best for you."_

_Ali sighed. He was just stating the obvious, which was simultaneously the thing she needed most and the thing that was least helpful. "Yeah, but what do I do now?"_

_He leaned closer so the rest of the people at the crowded bar couldn't hear. "Well... whatever you feel like doing." He winked at her. "But, you gotta keep one thing in mind - if you do decide to undress her, it's gonna look a lot different than what you're used to."_

Ali glanced at her watch as she arrived at the meeting point. It was 4:30 a.m., clearly not her favorite time of the day, but Penn State was one hell of a long bus ride away.

She tossed her equipment bag into the cargo hold and plopped down on "her" seat with just her pillow and blanket. "Her" seat also meant that Ashlyn was gonna be sitting next to her for the entire eight-hour ride, which made the whole ordeal so much more bearable.

"Morning. Scoot over, Kriegs, window seat's mine." Ashlyn grinned at her.

Ali grinned back and stuck her tongue out. "I was just keeping your seat warm, Harris."

The bus started rolling just as they'd switched seats and Ali yawned. "I hate bus rides. I can't really sleep cause there's just no comfortable way to sit in a bus seat."

Ashlyn chuckled. "Yeah, I get it. I always try to study. I'll be tired as shit tonight, but there's just no way I can sleep."

Ali pulled her blanket up to her chin and wiggled around in her seat while Ashlyn was shuffling through papers, glancing at Ali now and then, watching her become increasingly frustrated with the situation. "ARGH, THIS SUCKS!" She finally half-yelled.

"Shhh, you don't wanna wake up those two sleeping beauties..." Ashlyn said, pointing towards HAO and Kling who were leaning onto each other and snoring softly. "Well, not really beauties at this time of the day, but..." She trailed off, winking at the defender. "Anyway, if you want to, you could try what they're doing."

Ali winced. She used to snuggle with Tom on their bus rides across the country, but still, sleeping on a bus had never worked out. But it was 5 in the morning and she needed sleep. She sighed and mumbled, "Well, I guess it's worth a try", before putting her pillow onto Ashlyn's right shoulder and resting her head on it.

"You sure you can study with my big head there?"

Ashlyn laughed. "I think I can handle it, yeah. Sleep well, mumbles." A minute later, Ali was out like a light.

A couple of hours later, Ashlyn finally gave her right arm some rest from holding papers and let it drop between her and Ali. Almost immediately, she could feel Ali's hand looking for hers. _Probably subconsciously_ , she thought. Ali had curled her pinky around Ashlyn's and was squeezing it lightly, before snuggling further into her side. They'd become so comfortable around each other over the past month that a touch like that wasn't even unusual anymore. But even while sleeping, Ali seemed to care a whole lot about not letting anyone see them act like this, the worry of people acting like they did at Kling's birthday party probably much too present in her mind.

Ashlyn's mind, in the meantime, wandered back to a text conversation she'd had with HAO a couple of days after the firework.

_Heather O'Reilly: So, where were you Friday night?_

_Ashlyn Harris: Out drinking Virgin Mojitos (fun!) with Ali and a friend of hers. Kinda trying to keep my nerves in check._

_Ashlyn Harris: Probably shouldn't say it out loud, unless I want everybody bugging me about what's going on between us, but... We went to see the firework together after that._

_Heather O'Reilly: And took the opportunity to make out, huh? ;)_

_Ashlyn Harris: Yeah, you bet. You know how I am - making out with straight teammates every chance I get. :D_

_Heather O'Reilly: It's gonna happen some day... I can practically smell it coming._

_Ashlyn Harris: No way, Ali's straighter than you._

Her heart had basically dropped at HAO's "I smell it coming." Was there something there? Did HAO know more than she was letting on, or was she just having as much fun messing with her as everybody else was?

Ali started to stir shortly before they arrived at PSU. She wiggled her head and sleepily looked up at Ashlyn.

"Hey there, sleepy head. We're almost there." Ashlyn whispered.

"What? Did I..." Ali started.

"Sleep? Yeah, all the way. So much for your 'I can't sleep on bus rides' thing." She chuckled.

Ali looked up and there it was, right in front of her. Jeffrey Field, her soccer home for two years. As she stepped out of the bus, all the memories came flooding back in an instant. The championships she'd won, the tears of pain she'd cried after breaking her leg, the first kiss (and many after that) that she'd shared with Tom... but it was time for new memories now.

Several hours later, even though they'd fought like crazy, the Tar Heels walked off the pitch as losers. Ali looked at the scoreboard. 4-3, an offensive shootout. But Ali was happy that she'd gotten the start and as much as it hurt, having lost here of all places, she knew they'd started clicking as a team today. So, as soon as the final whistle had blown and the huddle was over, she'd walked over to her parents.

Ashlyn, however, was pissed. Pissed she couldn't get the ball to a wide open Crystal in the final minutes. Pissed she had basically passed the ball to PSU before the second goal. Pissed that the ref had missed an offside which had led to goal number 3. She knew they'd fought a great fight with so many freshmen, especially versus Penn State's more experienced team, but nonetheless, losing always hurt.

Ashlyn took off her socks, shoes, gloves and jersey and was walking towards the locker rooms in just her Under Armour shirt and her goalkeeper shorts when she heard Ali's voice.

"Hey, Ash, come over here for a second!"

She walked over to where Ali was standing and saw her talking to some people - a rather strict-looking guy with gray hair and a tall brunette with a huge smile on her face. Undoubtedly, those were her parents. The man had the same focused look on his face that Ali got when she was practicing and the woman... well, she basically looked like Ali plus 30 years.

"Mom, Dad, this is Ashlyn." Ali started and turned towards her mom. "The one I told you about, remember?"

Ashlyn felt herself panic. _Told her about? Told her what about me?_

"Ahh, so this is the alleged goalkeeper love affair?" Ali's mom chuckled and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Ashlyn, I'm Debbie."

Ashlyn barely managed a chuckle. _Alleged goalkeeper love affair? That's how she'd described her to her parents? Wonderful._

Ali's father shook Ashlyn's still taped hand next. "I'm Ken." He just stated flatly.

Ashlyn tried desperately to get her act together. "Aw, shit, I mean... just, look at me, I'm all sweaty and gross... And half-naked, what a great way to meet."

As Ali was speaking to her mom, Ashlyn was left with Ken.

"Soo... close game, huh?" he said.

"It sucked. I mean, that third goal was just a bad fucking call, it was so goddamn obvious! I mean, come on, how did the ref not see that? Is she blind?"

Ken raised an eyebrow and Ashlyn realized how much she'd been swearing. She blushed, which, thanks to the temperatures and the exhaustion from the game, was barely visible. She quickly excused herself and took a long shower, before taking care of some of the burns she'd gotten from the turf. When she stepped outside, she saw Ali with her parents again, but this time, there was a tall, black-haired, blue-eyed guy standing right behind her, with his arms wrapped around her, Ali leaning into him.

She'd seen him in some pictures in Ali's room, always with her and her old friends. Now Ashlyn realized this guy was probably her ex. Not keen on meeting the guy, she shuffled off to the bus as quickly as she could and called her mom to tell her about the game.

When Ali got to the bus, she sat down next to a sulking Ashlyn and decided it was probably better to leave her alone.

About two hours into the drive, as she was still staring out the window, Ashlyn's phone buzzed.

_Ali Krieger: What's wrong?_

Ashlyn turned to Ali and just shook her head. "You can talk to me, you know, I won't bite your head off... I got a headache, that's all."

"Ash... Look, I know the game didn't go as planned, but it wasn't your fault."

"Of course it was my fault. I mean, keeping that fucking ball out of the net is my damn job on this team and I didn't do it well today, now, did I?"

Ali looked down at Ash's hands, before standing up and getting the blanket out of the overhead compartment and draping it over both of them. Ashlyn looked at her, confused at what Ali was doing, when she felt a hand grab hers and squeeze it gently. There it was again, that spark she'd felt when their shoulders had touched after the firework. _So the pinky-holding this morning wasn't a sleepy reflex of some sort_ , Ashlyn thought to herself, while holding on to Ali's hand just a bit tighter.

"That guy before..." Ashlyn started, afraid of the answer to the question she was about to ask. "That your ex?"

Ali nodded. "Yeah, but that is so over. I mean, I think he and my parents think there's still something there, but there really isn't."

"You looked pretty cozy standing there with him." Ashlyn tried to make it sound like a joke, but she knew she'd failed and was now just hoping Ali was too tired to pick up on it.

Luckily, she was. "I just did that so the girls would see. You know, keep the rumor mill quiet for a while regarding us. So we're able to spend time together without anybody trying to ruin it."

Ashlyn was beaming now. She'd done it for them. Them. She'd been slightly jealous before, but now, it made sense. It was okay now. She felt her thumb brush across Ali's hand and watched as the lips of the brunette beside her curled into a smile mirroring her own.

At a rest stop, they all got off the bus for some fresh air. As the night had fallen, the temperatures had, too. They were standing around in a small circle and Ash was talking to Whit and Tobin when she noticed Ali's clenched jaw and goosebumps on her arm. She quickly switched places with Tobin and then casually strode over to where Ali was standing, stepping behind her and wrapping her arms around her. At first, Ali tensed up, but then she caught the smell of Ashlyn's shampoo and relaxed into her.

Several of the girls caught the interaction, but given the fact that almost everybody was freezing at least a little, they just took Ali's great idea and looked for a teammate to cuddle up to.

When they were finally back in Chapel Hill way past midnight and on their separate ways home, Ashlyn and Ali couldn't help exchanging texts - even after spending the entire day together.

_Ashlyn Harris: Sleep well... And btw, my right hand already misses your left one. ;)_

_Ali Krieger: You sleep well, too. And if you doubt yourself again, you call me. ;)_

_Ashlyn Harris: Nah, I'll let you sleep, you got an early class tomorrow._

_Ali Krieger: I might skip that one. ;)_

_Ashlyn Harris: Even your second class is still early enough. :P_

_Ali Krieger: You're probably right._

_Ashlyn Harris: Aww man, I already miss you!_

_Ali Krieger: Seriously? :D_

_Ashlyn Harris: Seriously!_

_Ali Krieger: You're cute. And now sleep. :*_

A kissing smiley. Ash nestled into her bed and fell asleep with a content smile on her face.


	7. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of my week is gonna be pretty busy, work-wise, so I definitely wanted to give you this update. ;) Work or not, I hope I can update within the next 2-3 days, next chapter is already planned out, so I just gotta write it. :)

They had two bye weeks coming up after the PSU game, so Ali decided to invite her two best friends and Ashlyn for a night out after some pre-drinking at her place. Gabe had created his own "trendy" vodka long drink, so they were all more than just a little bit tipsy when they hit the club. Hanna had come to visit as well and they'd agreed to hit up a 90's party just down the block from campus.

Ashlyn and Ali had volunteered to drop off everybody's jackets at the coat check and thus were slightly late to arrive at the bar as Gabe and Hanna were already hitting the dance floor.

While they were waiting for their drinks, they both looked around the room, trying their best not to get caught up in each other's eyes.

When Ali's drink arrived, she nervously started stirring it with the straw.

"What's wrong?" Ashlyn asked.

"Nothing, I just..." Ali took a deep breath. "I guess I need someone to watch me tonight so I don't do anything stupid."

Ashlyn smiled and, without putting further thought into Ali's statement, said, "I can be your chaperone."

Ali shook her head, laughing, as she started dancing her way through the crowd toward Hanna and Gabe. "No, no... you really can't."

They spent the entire evening dancing together. Ali laughed at Ashlyn while she was desperately trying to learn how to dance the Macarena and Ashlyn made fun of Ali during "Barbie Girl". They had a wonderful night out together, until Gabe and Hanna started to say their goodbyes.

"Noooo, you can't gooooo!" Ali whined at Hanna. "I need a chaperone!"

Hanna laughed. She knew what usually happened when Ali was dancing in a club more or less by herself - guys came flocking in, wanting to buy her drinks, wanting to dance with her and almost never taking "no" for an answer.

"Oh, you'll have Ash to watch you!" Hanna said, while Gabe was trying desperately to keep his mouth shut about what Ali had told him a few weeks ago. He knew that Ashlyn was probably the worst chaperone for Ali tonight, and probably completely unaware that straight Ali had an enormous crush on her.

As the night progressed, Ashlyn and Ali found themselves dancing closer to each other, so focused on the person across from them that they didn't even notice any of the guys watching them, wondering what the hell was going on and whether or not they'd have a chance of going home with both of them. Ashlyn first rapped the entire lyrics of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", followed by what could be described as a rather graphic depiction of "The Bad Touch", while Ali was trying her best to not jump Ashlyn right there on the dance floor.

 _God, this cocky macho act is hot_ , Ali thought to herself and could swear she felt her body temperature rise another few degrees in the already hot-as-hell club. She pointed in the direction of the restrooms and indicated she needed to splash some water on her face - Ashlyn nodded and followed her lead.

They were both pretty drunk by now and when Ali heard the first few notes of what she knew was going to be a remix of all Backstreet Boys songs, she couldn't fight it any longer. She knew Ashlyn was gonna put on one hell of a show to that remix and knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself.

She looked at Ashlyn, dragged her into a more quiet corner and said, "You know... those rumors about us..."

Ashlyn looked at her with glassy eyes, having had several drinks than Ali. "Yeah... y'know, actually... I was talking to HAO about that a while ago. Know what she said?"

Ali's eyes widened. _She'd talked to HAO about this?_ "What...?"

"Sh'said... that she can it smell it coming." She laughed, before realizing which song was playing and starting to sing along loudly and passionately, closing her eyes in the process. _"...and how you got me blind is still a mystery, I can't get you out of my head!!!"_

Ali shook her head. It was all too much. "I need more alcohol." She flatly stated before running off towards the bar. Ashlyn had picked up on Ali's nervousness and it was slowly starting to dawn on her why Ali hadn't wanted her as a chaperone. Through the drunken haze that was clouding her mind, all of her feelings and the many moments she'd shared with Ali during the past month were starting to fight their way through.

_Did she say I couldn't chaperone her because... what if she needs a chaperone so she doesn't do anything stupid with **me**? Would it really be that stupid? But she's straight. But what if there's something there?_

Tobin's word from after the firework started ringing in her ears again. _"There's only one person who can shed some light on this..."_

With that, all bets were off and Ashlyn decided to risk it all. She stood next to Ali at the bar, as close as she could, closing the gap between their faces so there were only a couple of inches left and sang more Backstreet Boys lyrics at Ali. "You are my fire... the one desire..."

"We gotta talk about this." Ali said suddenly, just loud enough that Ashlyn could hear her over the music. To Ash, it sounded like a whisper, a low whisper that made her shudder. Even through the tiredness that was starting to overcome them, even through the alcohol, Ali knew that Ashlyn would know what "this" she wanted to talk about.

She dragged her outside, the fresh air hitting both of them in an instant, amplifying the effect of the alcohol.

Ashlyn stared intently at the shorter brunette, waiting for her to speak, noting how she looked like an insecure little girl on her first day of school.

"Ash, I don't know how to say this... I... I think... Okay, yes, I've fallen in love with you, Ash... a little bit."

Ashlyn was trying to keep her grin from wrapping all the way around her head. Ali was in love with her. Alexandra Blaire Krieger was in love with her. The fact that she'd added "a little bit" to take some of the weight out of what she'd just said, only made it cuter. Ashlyn's heart was pounding, her mind racing, but her body acted for her, like it had been preparing for this moment all along.

Ashlyn stepped closer to Ali, putting her hands on her arms, dropping her head slightly and looking up at Ali, straight into her beautiful brown eyes that were, right now anyway, filled with uncertainty and fear.

"Alex... don't worry, I feel the same way." She said softly and before she knew it, Ali had her arms wrapped around her in a tight hug.

They were interrupted by Ali's phone ringing.

"Yeah, Hanna? What...? I don't... yeah, just give her my number, she can crash at my place. Yeah, you definitely owe me." With that, she hung up and looked back at an expectant Ashlyn.

She started explaining, "You remember Fabiana? Hanna's friend who lives in Raleigh?" Ashlyn nodded. "Well, seems like her friends forgot her around her and she needs a place to crash and Hanna asked if she could stay with me. She'll be here in a few minutes."

Ashlyn took a deep breath. "Oh, definitely. I mean... that's really nice of you." She knew she was rambling, but they were standing on the sidewalk, having just confessed their feelings for each other, knowing their evening was coming to an abrupt end.

Fabiana approached them and hugged Ali right away. "Thanks for letting me stay with you!" She shook hands with Ashlyn, who stood there, slightly lost.

"Umm, I'll..." the blonde mumbled, pointing towards her bus stop, but Ali interrupted her.

"You're coming with me." Ali said firmly, not giving her goalkeeper much of a chance to object.

They walked back to campus and Ali showed Fabiana the "guest room", as they called it in the house, to avoid having her in the room with herself and Ash. The room actually belonged to one of the cheerleaders, CC, but she usually slept at her boyfriend's place, so they'd all silently agreed to use it for surprise visitors.

They said their goodnights and Ashlyn and Ali plopped down on the bed, both lying on their sides, facing each other, propped up on their elbows.

"So... cat's out of the bag." Ashlyn started.

"Mhm..." Ali was still unsure of whether or not it had been the right decision, telling Ashlyn. "But I mean... nothing can come from this, right?"

Ashlyn sighed. She knew Ali would regret it once she sobered up and her mind cleared. "Well, we're teammates." She said, knowing she would gladly disregard her own 'no sleeping with teammates' rule for Ali.

"Technically, we can't. Well, we shouldn't. It would probably just complicate everything." Now it was Ali's turn to sigh. "It sucks, because I don't know what this is, but we can't really find out, can we?"

Ashlyn thought for a second and rolled onto her back, before covering her face in her hands and shaking her head.

"As much as it pains me to say it... I'm afraid not. I mean, if we cross that line, there's no going back. You can't just go back to being... whatever we are right now after... y'know, _more_."

"And that would suck, because I really like... whatever we are right now. But I mean... I could never have a relationship with a woman and I don't wanna lead you on or something, just because I'm curious." Ali said sincerely, wanting to let Ashlyn know that this wasn't some selfish decision.

"That, plus the teammates thing... There's just too much on the line, huh?" She smiled sadly  at Ali, who nodded. "So... friends?"

Ali rolled over and snuggled into Ashlyn's side as she mumbled "Okay, friends." Ashlyn wrapped an arm around her and they were both out within seconds.


	8. Not gonna kiss you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this up real quickly because I already had it sketched out in my mind, so... second update of the day and lucky for you, this is one of two updates tonight. ;)

Only two days had passed since their confessions to each other, but they'd kept their promise of being just friends. Sure, Ashlyn had slept at Ali's place both nights, but they'd agreed nothing would change and nothing had changed so far, which made both of them happy.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and the team had decided to spend some time together in a nearby park which had everything - basketball and beach volleyball courts, a small soccer field and a spot where they would barbecue after all the action.

They arrived together once again, but by now, that didn't even raise an eyebrow. HAO, Whit and Tobin were already there and had unpacked a bunch of badminton rackets, a basketball, a football and a soccer ball. Ashlyn spent most of her time playing basketball with Tobin, while Ali was playing badminton with Whit.

After a while, Ashlyn decided to switch to throwing a football with Crystal and a girl named Sarah, who had recently transferred to UNC. Ashlyn had always played some back yard football with her brother Chris when she was younger, so she was pretty adept at throwing with a nice tight spiral. Ali almost didn't believe it when she went to grab a drink and saw Ashlyn doing a little quarterback number.

"White 20, White 20!" She yelled as Crystal played wide receiver and went in motion, before yelling, "SET HUT!" Crystal dashed straight forward and Ashlyn did a 5-step dropback, before throwing a beautiful 40-yard-pass right into Crystal's hands.

 _Of course_ , Ali thought. _Of course she can do that. It's a total turn-on for like 80% of girls in this country, so it figures she could do it._ She shook her head, laughing. _Then again, as a goalkeeper, she had all the assets she needed - a strong throwing arm, huge hands to hold the ball... Those hands..._

She heard HAO calling her name, saying they needed another body for beach volleyball, so she joined them on the court, but not without looking back at Ashlyn once more, who was just getting tackled by Sarah.

A few of the girls had brought a bunch of jump ropes and pretty soon, everyone was gathered around them, waiting for their turn. Although they were all college athletes, deep down, they were still little kids. As most of the other girls had already started sitting down or laying down on the grass, Ashlyn and Whit had decided the jump ropes could be put to much better use as lassos. Ali had been throwing herself around the sandy beach volleyball court for the past half hour, so she was slightly surprised when she came back to find her teammates yeehaw-ing and throwing around lassos in what could only be described as an... alternate way to catch cattle... or teammates.

Ali took a second to focus on Ashlyn. She was wearing a red hoodie and a pair of black Nike shorts, but for Ali, it was the sexiest outfit she could've been wearing. She caught herself staring at the goalkeeper's butt and mentally kicked herself for the "just friends" agreement.

Ashlyn was now lying on the ground, laughing hysterically and desperately trying to wiggle free from Whit's sloppy hogtie and Ali decided she wanted in on the fun.

As Whit was trying to tighten the rope around Ashlyn's feet (hands were off-limits with goalkeepers during the season), Ali started tickling Ashlyn, whose laughter only became louder.

"HELP! Please, someone!" She spotted HAO. "HAO, PLEASE!"

HAO looked back and forth between Ashlyn, Ali and Whit and smirked. "No, Harris, you probably did something to deserve this."

Whit and Ali high-fived each other and picked up the badminton rackets that were lying around, giving Ashlyn some time to catch her breath. They quickly became so immersed in their game that they didn't notice Ashlyn sneaking up on them, ready to pounce on the ball. When Whit finally didn't hit the ball quite right and sent it sailing towards Ali, it didn't take the goalkeeper long to jump up and catch it before Ali could get to it. "INTERCEPTION!" she yelled and ran off, with Ali dropping the racket and going after her, chasing her through half the park, before Ashlyn finally stopped and turned around, looking straight at her, breathing hard.

"I'm a... goalkeeper." She managed to get out between breaths. "I'm not cut out for this."

Ali slowly walked towards her, knowing they were hidden from their teammates' views by the several hundred yards they'd just run and several trees and bushes in between and demanded that Ashlyn give her the ball back. When she didn't obey, Ali tried to pry it free, jumped on her back and wrapped both arms around her, but to no avail - Ashlyn was always switching it back and forth between her hands or using her long arms to keep it out of the defender's reach, laughing at her and with her the entire time.

"Okay, okay, I'll give it back!" Ashlyn promised after hearing her own stomach growl. "Let's just go eat."

"No way, Harris." Ali retorted. "Now you're stuck with me like this. You wanna eat, you carry me back."

Ashlyn groaned. "Fine, saddle up."

They were almost back at the barbecue spot, just around the corner from everybody else, when Ali whispered in her ear, "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"What?" Ashlyn asked innocently.

"This. The outfit, the quarterbacking, just acting like an adorable kid all the time."

Ashlyn dropped Ali and turned around to face her and grinned from ear to ear. "Oh... so you think I'm adorable."

Ali chuckled. "Of course you would focus on that... Come on, you big goofball, let's eat."

They joined the rest of their team and looked for a spot to sit. Every other blanket was occupied already, so Ali unpacked hers - a red blanket with white hearts on it. Ashlyn just shook her head. They were never gonna hear the end of that. Just as soon as they'd sat down, Kling had started rolling around the floor in laughter. "Hahaha, look at that! Big bad keeper sitting on the heart blanky! I mean, I kinda expect it from Princess Kriegy, but you...?"

HAO grabbed her camera right away. "Oh, this is so going in the yearbook!" Ashlyn and Ali just covered their faces as HAO snapped the picture, hoping no one would recognize them.

As they were packing up an hour later, Tobin suggested going to a bar. It had been weeks since all of them had been out together and with the two bye weeks coming up, tonight seemed to be perfect for that.

They all went home, showered, dressed up and met at the bar two hours later. Most of the girls were drinking cocktails, but Ashlyn had decided it would be better to stay away from alcohol for a while.

Tobin side-eyed Ashlyn's water glass as she was walking past her. "What? No beer? No cocktail?" Of course, Tobin had gotten every single detail from Ashlyn as soon as it had happened, but she would never pass up an opportunity of teasing her usually oh-so-cool roommate about it.

Ashlyn shushed her. "You know what happened last time I got drunk, Tobs."

Tobin chuckled. "Oh, you mean, things finally moved along a little bit?"

Ashlyn sighed. "Not really, and you know that."

Meanwhile, Ali had just taken a full cocktail glass out of a stunned Crystal's hands. "I'll get you another one later, I'm thirsty." The other girls around them just laughed. Ali was usually so professional, so serious and responsible about everything, but tonight, she clearly didn't care for being all that.

The day had been physically exhausting, so their night out didn't last too long. In the end, it was once again just Ali and Ashlyn, standing in a now almost-empty bar with Tobin.

"Well, I guess I'll head home, too." Tobin started.  "You coming, Ash?" She knew Ashlyn wasn't going to come with her, but she kept the act up because Ali obviously didn't know what kind of details Tobin was privy to.

Ashlyn looked over at a clearly very drunk Ali, who was hanging on her arm and hadn't stopped smiling for about an hour. "I guess I better get this one home first. Don't wait up, could be a while." She winked at her roommate and mouthed a 'Thanks' for playing along.

When they arrived at Ali's place, Ashlyn sat her down on the bed and went to the small kitchen to get some water for her.

"Here, drink this if you don't want the worst hangover of your life tomorrow." She said with a small, slightly pitiful smile. She'd checked on Ali several times tonight and there had been a new drink in her hands each time, so a massive hangover was clearly part of Ali's near future.

Ali emptied the glass quickly, put it aside, licked her lips and then, much to Ashlyn's surprise, dragged her onto the bed with her, never breaking eye contact.

"Ali, what're you doing?" Ashlyn asked, slight panic evident in her voice.

"I might be breaking our agreement." Ali answered with a wry smile.

 _She's drunk._ It shot through Ashlyn's head. _She is drunk out of her mind and that's why she's ready to do this._

Ashlyn rolled off of her and backed away slightly, stroking Ali's hair and looking her straight in the eyes. "Alex... I'm not gonna kiss you now." Ali made a pouty face, but Ashlyn continued calmly, glad she'd stayed sober tonight. "Look, you're really drunk. And if you still wanna do this when you're sober and you've thought about it, then I'll be right here. But... and this is the important part... If we ever decide to do this, I want both of us to remember it. Okay?"

Ali's pout had vanished and she was nodding her head tiredly. "Mmmkay." Ashlyn got up and Ali, with her eyes closed already, mumbled, "Where're you going?"

"Just sleeping on the couch tonight, princess. Just sleeping on the couch." _Just to be sure_ , she mentally added as she tucked herself in and fell asleep on Ali's tiny couch.


	9. Schrödinger's Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky for everyone waiting for an update, I seem to have no life and an utterly fucked up sleep schedule. :D ;) So, here's update 2/2 for tonight and 3/3 for today, so I hope you enjoy. :)

Not even a week later, HAO had invited Ashlyn, Ali, Kling, Whit and Tobin to try a new burger place across town. Unfortunately for everyone involved, the menu included two cocktails for free.

Ashlyn was sitting at the head of the table, with Ali at her right. She leaned over as the first round of cocktails arrived and whispered, "You're not gonna try anything tonight, are ya?"

Ali bit her lip, still slightly embarrassed by the incident on Saturday. "You're too important to me to fuck this up." She whispered back with nothing but sincerity in her voice.

They leaned back and enjoyed their teammates company and especially the fact that they spent almost the entire evening without talking soccer. Everybody talked about their plans for the long weekend and Ali mentioned how she was going home to see her parents and her big brother, who was flying in from Los Angeles to see her there. Ashlyn realized it would be the first weekend in over a month on which she wouldn't get to see Ali and quickly planned out her own weekend trip, which proved to come in handy just seconds later.

HAO looked at Ash as soon as Ali had finished talking. "So, what are you gonna do without your twin here?"

Ashlyn cleared her throat. "Actually, I got some money saved up and I thought I'd also go home for the weekend. You know, spend some time at the beach, dust off my old surfboard." She smiled.

Tobin immediately jumped on the bait. "JEAAAAAALOUS!" she screamed in a high-pitched voice.

Ashlyn snickered. "You're welcome to tag along, Tobs, you know that."

The two of them quickly got into a heated conversation about surfing, while Ali was talking to Whit.  Their first round of cocktails was long gone, but none of them were ready to leave yet, so they decided to take the second round as well. Just as Ashlyn was trying to order hers, she felt a hand on her right knee, stroking it gently and slowly moving further up her leg.

"I'll have a... umm... one of those..." She stammered, unable to focus on anything besides Ali's apparently very naughty hand. She just pointed at her empty glass and hoped everybody else would think she was drunk and not pick up on the fact that Ali's left hand had gone exploring underneath the table.

The rest of the night went pretty much the same way, except for the fact that Ashlyn had started to retaliate and was now brushing against Ali's thigh with her knee. There were very awkward angles involved and it wasn't comfortable at all, but the sneaking around was what made it all incredibly hot.

When everybody had finished their drinks, they were all hugging each other goodbye for the weekend, telling everybody to say hi... normal teammate stuff. But Ashlyn wasn't happy with the short hug and "Enjoy your weekend" she'd gotten from Ali. She knew she couldn't go home with her, as the girls who lived on campus like Ali did would surely wonder where Ash was going at this time of night.

In one of their "telepathic conversations", she's basically told Tobin to get lost with the others, as she herself feigned having forgotten her keys at the restaurant. She waited until everybody was gone until she texted Ali.

_I'm not gonna let you leave for four days without a decent hug. I'll take the next bus to your place, just make sure the girls are gone by then. ;)_

She didn't know whether it was the alcohol or the events of the last week that gave her the courage to be this forward.

_Ali Krieger: Are you serious? :))_

Ashlyn looked at the screen and sent one more text before getting on the bus. _Fifteen minutes._

When she got off the bus, Ali was waiting for her, sitting on a bench in the courtyard, almost at her front door. Ashlyn sat down beside her and tried to hug her, which was awkward given their positions. Ali stood up and dragged Ashlyn to her feet as well before pulling her into a tight hug. Ashlyn could feel her breath against the crook of her neck and rested her head on Ali's shoulders. It was the most intimate hug they'd ever shared. When they finally parted, they both felt like being apart for four days might actually kill them.

Ashlyn was the first to speak. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you too." Ali replied. "But maybe... y'know... maybe some distance helps."

"Yeah, maybe." Ashlyn tried to sound sincere, but she was no longer buying her own lies to herself. The frustration and the tension were getting too much. "You know, it sucks. I mean, we both like each other, like, a lot. I mean, not just like, but..." She stopped herself before 'love' could slip out of her mouth mid-ramble. "It just sucks that we can't even see if there's something there because..."

Ali finished the sentence for her. "...we're teammates."

"Yeah." Ashlyn scratched the back of her neck, like she always did when she was nervous. "So, anyway... goodnight. And say hi to your parents for me... if they remember me."

"I doubt they've forgotten about the hot, half-naked, swearing goalkeeper they met just two weeks ago." Ali teased, going in for another quick hug, before Ashlyn could comment on being called 'hot'. "Goodnight, Ash."

Ashlyn watched as Ali disappeared into the stairway of the house, leaving her in the dimly lit courtyard. She had turned to leave and walked a couple of steps when she noticed Ali still hadn't turned on the lights in the stairway. Confused, she slowed her steps and came to a complete stop as the door was slowly opened again.

Ali stepped back outside and looked at Ashlyn. "You're still here."

"So are you..." They stared at each other for a brief moment, realizing this might as well have been a scene from a romantic comedy, before sitting back down on the bench, side-by-side, as close as possible. "This isn't gonna work, is it?"

Ali shuddered and Ashlyn quickly took off her own jacket and wrapped it around Ali. "What do you mean?"

"This 'friends' thing. There's too much there, isn't there? Too much curiosity, too much tension, too much of everything."

Ali just nodded sadly. "But we have to leave it at this. For the team and... even more important, for our friendship. And who knows, maybe it would suck. Maybe it'd be the worst kiss we've ever had."

Ash laughed at the joke. "Yeah, maybe it would've sucked." The seriousness of the situation quickly took over again and she let out an exasperated sigh. "It's like Schrödinger's cat. Unless we open that box, we won't know if the cat's dead or alive. But if the cat's dead, well... then that would be worse than not knowing, right?"

"Right." Ali affirmed.

"I know." With that, they both stood up, both of them knowing there wasn't anything left to say.

"Bye, Ali."

"See ya, Ash." Ali softly mumbled as she watched Ashlyn exit the courtyard through the antique iron gate before taking a deep breath and going inside the house.

Her phone buzzed just as she'd stepped through the door to her room.

_Ashlyn Harris: Why can't I stop thinking about kissing you?_

_Ali Krieger: Because I can't either._

_Ashlyn Harris: It's just not fair!_

_Ali Krieger: Did you leave?_

_Ashlyn Harris: Actually, I'm still standing right outside the gate._

_Ali Krieger: Damn._

_Ashlyn Harris: Yup..._

_Ali Krieger: Just go to the bus stop._

_Ashlyn Harris: Probably for the best._

_Ali Krieger: Yes._

_Ashlyn Harris: Except... you know how much I hate regretting things. And I know I would regret not knowing... well, if the cat's alive or not._

_Ali Krieger: Thing is, even it's alive, it's not really alive, so..._

Ashlyn gulped. Of course, Ali was still straight, having fallen in love with her or not. She still couldn't imagine a relationship with a woman.

_Ashlyn Harris: But it would've lived for a moment._

_Ali Krieger: Is that enough for you?_

By now, Ashlyn was dead set on taking whatever Ali would give her. She was head over heels in love with this woman if all she could ever get was a kiss, then so be it, but she wasn't about to let that chance slip.

_Ashlyn Harris: Well, it's better than if it was dead from the start._

_Ali Krieger: Do you think we could continue being friends afterwards?_

_Ashlyn Harris: I would hope so._

_Ali Krieger: That's not enough._

_Ashlyn Harris: Well, from my point of view, of course we could go back to being friends._

That was a lie. It was a big fat lie and they both knew it the second they saw the message on the screen. But they both wanted to believe it so badly.

_Ali Krieger: I just don't wanna hurt you._

_Ashlyn Harris: Nor do I wanna hurt you._

_Ali Krieger: And now?_

_Ashlyn Harris: Now I'm still a bit tipsy. Do you think you could go back to being friends?_

_Ali Krieger: I would do my best. ;)_

_Ashlyn Harris: Good enough for me, cause I know you're stubborn enough to succeed. ;)_

_Ali Krieger: Alright..._

Ashlyn sprinted towards Ali's front door and she buzzed her in immediately. She took the flight of stairs in record-breaking time and dashed down the hallway where Ali was just opening her door.

They took one look at each other and knew what was going to happen. Ashlyn busted through the door, quickly mumbled something like, "I'm done chickening out and making excuses" before crashing her lips against Ali's.  The kiss was heated, passionate, everything they had both expected, hoped for, but hadn't dared to dream of.

They both knew the door was still open, so Ashlyn spun them around and used Ali's back to slam the door shut. Ali groaned at the impact, but the slight pain in her back was not important enough to break the kiss. They were fighting for control, like they had to prove to each other how important this moment was to them. Like they were both trying to say, "No, dammit, I need _you_ more." They were knocking things over left and right, Ali's shoe collection being the first victim, with the coat hanger being a close second.

They went back to the front door, lips never once parting until they both registered the burning in their lungs because there was barely any oxygen left in them. They were both panting, trying to get as much air at once as humanly possible.

Ash smirked. "Well, I can tell you one thing... that... clearly didn't suck."

Ali let out a hearty laugh. "It didn't suck? That's the best way you can describe this?"

"Right now, yeah." Ash said, hinting at the fact that her brain was currently out of order.

"Must be that damn Harris charm, huh?" Ali teased.

"Shut up." Ash whispered before capturing Ali's lips again. This time, however, the kiss was gentler, more patient, like they knew they had stepped across the line now and it didn't matter how long they stayed there, there was no going back.


	10. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short filler chapter to let you know I'm still alive... More writing to come in the next three weeks, I promise. :)
> 
> Also, please check out the notes at the bottom if you want to know why I was 'gone' for so long.

They spent the following days messaging back and forth while they were both at home, visiting their families, joking about what had happened, saying that Schroedinger's cat, in this situation, was definitely very alive, and they were enjoying the fact that most of the tension between them seemed to have been alleviated by the kiss. They had also agreed that Whitney Engen's motto, "Nothing's really happened unless someone's pants came off" was very fitting and decided to live by it, too. Ash because she didn't want to pressure Ali and Ali because she could still tell herself that she was straight.

Ali was set to return to Chapel Hill the morning of her birthday and was leaving again the day after for a birthday trip to Boston with Hanna, so Ashlyn knew she would have to make every minute with her count today.

Ashlyn woke up early that day and decided to surprise Ali at the train station. As soon as she spotted Ashlyn, Ali's face lit up. "Oh my God, what're you doing here?"

The blonde shrugged. "I don't know, I thought it would be a nice touch to pick up someone on their birthday... especially when it's someone you kissed just a couple of days ago."

Ali smiled. "And you would be right about that."

"Happy Birthday, Ali!" Ashlyn wrapped her arms tightly around Ali, knowing that any other display of affection would probably just freak her out at this stage. "And I also thought I'd take you for a birthday breakfast at Starbucks."

Ali laughed into Ashlyn's shoulder. "I kinda like that thought."

They headed to the nearby Starbucks, with Ashlyn carrying Ali's bag the entire way and Ali just rambling on about how great it was seeing her family again, talking about spending time with her little cousin and smiling from ear to ear every time she glanced over at the goalkeeper.

After their breakfast had turned into brunch, Ashlyn dropped Ali off at her place and promised she'd see her for training in the evening and for the birthday dinner with their teammates afterward.

Training was exhausting for Ashlyn, not just because goalkeeper training had included several rounds of burpees, but also because she'd had to keep her eyes and hands off of Ali the entire time so people wouldn't get even more suspicious of their closeness as they already were. She was also nervous about the fact that she had told somebody on the team about the kiss and was debating herself on whether or not to tell Ali about it.

_Flashback_

_Ash had walked out of Ali's apartment that night after their kiss, feeling like she owned the world and like a huge weight had just been lifted off her shoulders. Grinning widely, she'd texted Anna, one of the other goalkeepers, who was Ash's go-to party companion._

_Ashlyn: Hey, #12, you out somewhere?_

_Anna: Yeah, I'm at XS with my roommates and my sister. You should come by!_

_Thirty minutes later, Ash had entered the bar, spotting the tall, lanky goalkeeper dancing on a bench to "Makes me wonder" before she'd waved her over._

_"AAAAAAASH!" Anna had engulfed Ash in a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. "WHAT'S GOT YOU SO HAPPY?" she'd yelled over the music. Ashlyn had been amazed. She sucked at telling how people felt, even when she was sober, and everybody around her seemed to have some magical sixth sense when it came to her feelings._

_She'd known Anna would keep her mouth shut and she really had to tell someone. "I KISSED ALI!"_

_Anna's eyes had gone wide. "KRIEGER?" Ash had nodded. "ISN'T SHE STRAIGHT?"_

_"YEAH, I GUESS! YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE, RIGHT?"_

_Anna had just smiled, kissed Ashlyn on the cheek once more and dragged her to the dancefloor. Her secret was safe with Anna._

_End of Flashback_

An hour later, Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin, Kling, Whit, HAO and Crystal sat at dinner, eating burgers, talking about their upcoming games and the past men's World Cup. Ali mentioned how she'd rooted for the Germans, how she felt a connection to the country because of her heritage and her last name and how much she'd love to spend some time living there.

Ashlyn cringed at the thought of not being near Ali, even though Ali had been talking about the distant future.

"Gee, Kriegs, think of your goalkeeper." Ash commented. "You can't just leave me alone with the rest of that back line." Whit gave her the finger from across the table.

Ali responded in her best whiny-Ash-voice, "Awww! Big, bad goalie gonna feel all alone without me?"

Ashlyn just stuck out her tongue at Ali, completely forgetting the fact they weren't alone, even though their teammates were laughing loudly at the exchange they'd just witnessed.

Kling laughed and shook her head. "Sheesh, you two really act like an old married couple. And to think you've only known each other for a couple of months."

Ali tensed up at Kling's words and Ashlyn noticed, mentally making a note that this was one of the reasons nothing serious could ever happen between them. If a joke about her acting like an old married couple with a female 'friend' freaked her out, how would she react if something really happened and they had to tell people? Ashlyn also realized she'd made a mistake in telling Anna about their kiss and that there was no way she could tell Ali she'd done that.

 _She'd freak out. She'd completely freak out._ Ashlyn's mind was running in circles now, barely picking up on their dinner slowly coming to an end. _If I tell her I told somebody that she did something a straight girl definitely wouldn't do, she'd kill me. Or, at the very least, our friendship would be over. Then again, I'm allowed to share my happiness, aren't I?_

It wasn't until the cool air hit her and Ali waved her hands right in front of her face that she snapped out of it.

"Hey, Ash, I'm taking the next bus to campus, so... see you when I get back from Boston?"

Ash quickly smiled as brightly as she could, not wanting Ali to pick up on the doubts that surely must've been written all across her face. "Uhh, yeah, for sure!" _I just wish I could go with you now_ , she thought.

This was going to be a long five days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know how long it's been and I'm so very sorry, so...
> 
> I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: This story is actually inspired by the story of my girlfriend and me. We met in April last year and this is basically the story of how we fell in love. So, eventually, some day, I want this to be like a diary, a way to remind me and her of what makes us so amazing. But in order to do that, I obviously have to spend a lot of time with her and since I don't have a laptop right now, I can only write when I'm at home, by myself, with some time to sort through everything that has happened in the past year and a half. This means that whenever I'm not literally writing this story, I'm just out there, living future chapters. ;)
> 
> I hope this doesn't totally turn you off the story now that you know it's not all fiction. :)


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